Skip to main content

Why Blog?


        So, what can I say?! Many have been telling me it was time to start a blog. Well, here it is. Just in case some of you don't realize, I have no idea what I'm doing - so bear with me.  I struggled with what to post first. Was I going to use big fancy words, in big fancy fonts? Would I say something profound and intriguing? I don't think so... Then, where am I supposed to begin? I guess I'll just have to lay it all out.
       Why a blog?
My husband and I began our journey together as Associate Pastor and wife. Eventually, God called us into full time ministry. We would pastor a church.
I was ready. I couldn't wait! The excitement was bubbling over and spilling out of us both. We moved into the church parsonage (absolutely beautiful, by the way), got settled in, and gracefully took on our newly bestowed role as Reverend and Mrs. As the months went by, my husband settled into his role as the Bishop, and I , well I ........ I discovered something....... Something so shocking it shook me to the core:
I am not like the other pastors' wives. I am uncontrollably awkward. When I wear high heels, I walk like a new born baby calf. When thrust into confrontation, I stutter uncontrollably, my knees start to shake, I sweat profusely and my tongue seems to swell. I think I'm allergic, really. I think a little differently, not my belief system, but the actual process of thinking. I have attention deficit disorder (not joking). Seriously! I MUST write everything down but then I lose my list. I forget people's names and sometimes their faces.  I scream out loud, when I actually should be whispering. I run, trip over my feet, and roll head first, when I should be floating into a room.
      When I first realized this shocking truth, I became upset and a little discouraged. I started comparing myself to others who seemed to be doing so much more, so much better...... than me. It really got me down. I had a really ugly monkey on my back and I had to shoot it.
So, I started asking God to help me be a better pastor's wife and one day I asked him why I couldn't be more like the other beautifully graceful wives. This is what He said to me,"I didn't call them to this church. I called you. You are the one I called for this job. This is where I want YOU. Be who I have called you to be and no one else."  I realized that if God saw fit for me to be there, then I was meant to be there. ME. What do ya know. Don't get me wrong. I still strive everyday to more like Jesus. I still work to be graceful, flowy, and well-spoken, but through that process, I'm still wonderfully awkward made.

 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made........ " Psalm 139:1

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God is Not Unfair

      I'm sad. I'm broken. I'm hurting. I'm feeling pain, anger, frustration, guilt, and completely out of control. Im exhausted, overwhelmed, out of sorts, and in a state of shock. Broken hearted, disgusted and flat out mad. I've cried and cried and when I didn't think there were any more tears, I cried some more.       After 2 years of wondering if I'd ever get pregnant again, we found out we were going to have a baby. We were busting at the seams, trying not to let the cat out of the bag until we could go see our families. I'd organized and lined up crib options, pulled out all my maternity clothes, and tried my best to resist the urge to bring all the baby gear up from the basement. I looked at books to read to my son in preparation for a sibling, made my prenatal appointment, and took my first photo to compare as my belly would grow.       A few days later, we learned that we had lost this one.     I lai...
Post a Comment
Read more

Do Not Fret

    So, I know that the purpose of this blog has been to share in laughter about the crazy antics of the insecure wife of a pastor but it's turned out quite modge podge these days. To be honest, it's been way too long since my last post. I've been feeling this urge to continue my blog. I'm pretty sure this blog is more for me, than it is for anyone else. I have a few readers from Russia, the Ukraine even. I like to think that I'm making a difference. I never really know if I am, but I can only hope. Blogging can be a difficult task, especially for someone who cares so much about what others think. People tend to be more vocally opinionated these days or maybe it's just that there are more platforms for even the quietest personalities to share their opinions, rants, and grievances. Anyway.......  I started my "read the Bible in a year" plan for the New Year and I've really enjoyed it, as I have incorporated the audio feature for the f...
Post a Comment
Read more

"The Merm"

  Even as a child, I tried to look my very best when leaving the house. Some people were just naturally blessed with the ability to roll out of bed and look angelic but others, like myself, need a few coats of primer and a lion tamer before heading out the front door. This is especially evident in teenage girls once they realize that they can take control of their hair, face and style.    BUT....   What about those poor defenseless grade schoolers? I know I've mentioned before that my grade school years were THE WORST. It's such an awkward time. Imagine walking around, completely unaware and disconnected from the fact that you have toothpaste around your mouth, gum in your hair, and toilet paper hanging out of your pants. You live in bliss until one day, your classmates begin to develop that self awareness before you do. GREAT.    With that in mind, let's talk about parents. I truly believe that my parents had my best interest at hea...
Post a Comment
Read more